Bob Weir was never just a musician to me.
And the Grateful Dead were never just a band.
They were — and always will be — family.
I learned about life and loss through this music.
In the height of the ’90s, when everything felt endless, we lost Brent Mydland.
I was lost too — fresh off spring and summer tour — trying to understand how something so alive could suddenly be gone.
Then came the one I thought would end it all.
Jerry Garcia.
I was living in California when a friend told me.
I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t.
So I called Hartford, Connecticut — WHCN.
The DJ came on, paused, and simply said, “I’m sorry, brother.”
And in that moment, the world stopped.
But the train didn’t.
Bobby was the conductor.
The compass.
The one who kept it all moving forward when it felt impossible.
And by continuing on, he taught me strength.
He taught me that even through devastating loss, you keep going.
That if you stay on the road, great things can still happen.
We rode through RatDog — especially those early years.
I remember Bobby handing me the last Beck’s Dark from the cooler backstage at 4th & B, listening to stories with him and Matt Kelly like old friends.
Then the Dead rose once more as they brought Warren Haynes on the journey, back out on the golden road.
Then the music pushed Furthur — sometimes even scaring the children with the great Rob Wasserman.
Fearless. Alive. Always moving.
The night Bobby jammed with John Mayer on The Late Late Show changed everything.
The road to Terrapin now ran through Dead & Company — proof that the music could evolve without ever losing its soul.
The winds always shift after a hurricane.
New growth follows.
And with each branch of that growth, you won’t just hear Bobby —
you’ll feel him.
Through the music.
Through the lessons.
Through the way the songs still show us who we are.
The Grateful Dead are my life.
They are my family.
I traveled this country because of them — camping for tickets, chasing shows, finding some of the best friends of my life in parking lots outside venues.
Through Bobby’s music, I found the path to sobriety.
“I can tell your future, just look what’s in your hand.
When it’s done and over, a man is just a man playing in the band.”
I’m grateful for the opportunities Bobby and his team gave me — to photograph, document, and bear witness.
To work alongside legends like Jay Blakesberg, Joshua Hutchins, and Chloe Weir is an honor I carry with me.
I’ve seen these songs come alive at Madison Square Garden, RFK Stadium, Shoreline, Deer Creek, San Diego Sports Arena, Sam Boyd Stadium, the Sphere — and countless others including multiple runs at The Broward Center for Performing Arts In Fort Lauderdale.
Each show another mile.
Each mile another lesson.
Thank you, Bobby —
for being my compass.
My arrow.
For showing me the light and the way.
You will always be a part of me.
You will always be a part of my life.
— Joel Shover
The sound on this video is not great, but it is an important memory for the author.
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